Black and Blue

[From BLACK]

Black and Blue Or Cooler Friends

“you just need cooler friends” she assured me that

my unhappiness was a matter of particular environmental

upgrades at Lake Merritt when

we decided to do Russian Coke from LA and drink

tequila and champagne mixed together and go

to the nightclub on a Tuesday afternoon and I just

wonder if this is the new me?


I got a little carried away

and a homeless person spit on me and took a swing at this hot guy

I was following like a puppy dog and so he left me at a bar but I

didn’t really mind because I had strangers there who wanted to

listen to me complain.


We shop for black clothes, “slutty black clothes” she says

but all I want is a kimono to smoke cigarettes in as

the sun comes up and the bad thoughts start to creep

back into my skull.

We tell boys of any caliber to buy us drinks and then we disappear

and giggle and flip our hair and ash our cigarettes

wherever the hell we want and I just

wonder why every guy we meet is a DJ?


We send photos of ourselves that no one should

ever see and drown our regrets in more tequila and champagne.

“We’re on the cusp of everywhere we go” she says but it feels

like we are going to a goth prom for people with

severe Mommy and Daddy issues so I guess

I fit right in.


We laugh about our bodies covered in bruises

Black and Blue

from all the fun we are having and

all the times we forgot to

love ourselves.

photo from:

One thought on “Black and Blue

  1. oooooooooh I like this girl. sounds like an LA version of my life in London.I have also written a piece about my using, in early sobriety and not as good totes obvi but I can send it to you if I can find it. Coming up 3 yrs clean & sober in September and am going travelling down the west coast in August, surfing and hitting up meetings all the way. You seem like a super cool chick, I would love to meet you! any meeting ideas ? x Josie


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